FIRST BREATH: (01/17/1981/5:42 AM/Abilene, TX/USA)
LOCATION: (Abilene, TX, USA)
chelseyxan@me.com
HOW I FOUND THE GOLDRING: via ~Divine Synchronicity
MY FAMILY:
~That dear octopus from whose tentacles we never quite escape, nor in our inmost hearts, ever quite wish to.~Dodie Smith.
SPIRITUAL NAME: ~Gypsy Rose? ~Truth Seeker I Am Aries I Have Taurus I Think Gemini I Feel Cancer I Will Leo I Examine Virgo I Complement Libra I Desire Scorpio I Seek Sagittarius I Use Capricorn I Know Aquarius I Believe Pisces
MY MISSION: ~To Master the Art of Living Life to the Fullest and Loving Unconditionally.
~To do what I can, with what I have, where I am.
~I am capable of what every other human is capable of. Maybe more than the average bear during my lifetime but I cannot know that. if I keep living up to my efforts of learning something new everyday.
MY TEACHERS: ~All of the actors who have taken part in my life story.
~I am grateful, for I would not be the woman I am today without each and every influence.
GREATEST POWER: ~Faith, Hope and Love and the greatest of these is Love.
~ Breath in Self-Forgiveness and Breath out Love.
~There are no coincidences.
~I trust that everything in my physical environment is reacting just as it should.
~ The exactitude of my life can be a focal point of the Uranus energy and I can become a magician, a healer and a teacher.
CREATIVE TALENTS: ~Writing,Communication. Shamanic (Energy/Chakra) Healing,Matching Colors to Feelings, Find reasons to make any situation positive, Making up words, Sense of Humor, Beautifying and Electrifying the World with my Vibrilliancy
EARTH SERVICE TO OTHERS: ~To Help Others Find Inner Strength and Believe They Are Wonderful and Beautiful Inside and Out
I BELIEVE
I Believe… I Believe in Love I Believe Life is a Dance I Believe in Rising Above I Believe in Everlasting Romance
I Believe… I Believe in Each and Every Friend I Believe the Great Work Can Never Be Undone I Believe the Beginning is also the End I Believe Life is Meant to be Fun
I Believe… I Believe in Taking a Chance I Believe Heaven is Here on Earth I Believe in Approaching Questions with More than One Glance I Believe in Rebirth
I Believe… I Believe in Forgiveness I Believe Gratitude is the Attitude I Believe in the Power that lay behind the Fortress I Believe in the Silent Surrender Found in Solitude
I DREAM…
What would stir such a passion in your heart to be a vessel of spirit in form?: ~ The equation worked backwards for me. I was led to the spirit through suffering which became worse over time. The anguish I was experiencing was so agonizing I believed that if I were to die, hell could be no worse than what I was feeling. The worst part about it was that I knew that I could have anything I wanted and I knew that my family and friends loved me. Why in the world was I so afflicted? It was because of my beliefs. I hated the core of my very being. I was afraid of the darkness I sensed inside of me. I was afraid of the extrasensory abilities and didn’t understand what the difference between imagination, mental illness or a spiritual experience was. So, what led me here? What led me to the light? My investigative, deterministic qualities. I am obsessive and I can not let go of anything that I chose to understand or master. Unfinished business eats at me. If I don’t feel like did something the right way, I am continually retracing my steps and seek to find a way to redo it. It has been a very beneficial motivator in my life so I don’t consider it a negative attribute. I will get things right eventually because of that driving force.
When I broke through the layers of falsehood and deception. I felt the Sources within in. At first whispering but yesterday I heard them loud and clear and they gave me direct information. I felt all my fears, loneliness and worries disappear as I listened. I know how to continue the journey and I don’t have only one voice, “I" but I have a collective voice that speaks to my conscience, which says “we.” When I have been in complete confusion and cried out for help, I hear them. The first time it felt so foreign, I thought that I was being studied by aliens who spoke to me telepathically in order to research me. The last time it felt like family, I believed it to be some of my ancestors who had been awakened in my own cells through love and focusing on positive experiences. What would bring your purest heart the greatest pleasure to give to humanity?: ~ To bring out the beautiful ways we each creatively express our inmost being. To find the Source within and to live a life with no false walls of imprisonment. A life of complete freedom of self-expression with no shame or insecurity from being the person you were born to be.
What inspires this passion in you and why?: ~ When I didn’t know the difference between truth and lie or right and wrong. I felt utterly and miserably helpless. I knew that I may not even be able to trust my own judgment without knowing and I darn sure couldn’t trust anyone else. I don’t want anyone else to feel like that. I will do anything I can to prevent others from having to stumble around blindly without any clear instructions. It was like trying to an elephant trying to decipher what the differences in a dog’s bark meant.
Does this dream bring BLISS, WISDOM, LOVE, POWER, VISION, CREATION and move outward in SERVICE toward the upliftment of humanity?: ~ Yes
What ultimate service would your soul bring you to perform?: ~ Build a gigantic shoe and be the mother who lived in the shoe and take in every child who is not loved and give them my unconditional love so that they can know what being loved for being who they are feels like. They wont have to live life by seeking achievements to prove their worth or carry resentment inside because they think they are defective. They will be able to shine because love will awaken the part of them that was asleep.Matching my clothes, purses, jewelry and shoes decorating my home and creating a new look when I get bored with the old one. It is fun, I enjoy being in my own skin and it brings a smile to others. People often say they are excited to see what I am going to wear each day and they play the game smell Chelsey. :) I love perfumes and scented oils. I know how to align the my moods to fit the color of my outfits and fragrances to fit the way I feel. I know how to alter my body chemistry when I feel off-balance. Life sometimes seems like a big science experiment. I view my choices as trial and error which must continually be tweaked and redefined. It’s kind of fun to experiment on yourself. Play with your own behavior, thoughts and role play-so to speak. In all reality, we create who we are. We just have to figure out which character fits.
What would you be happiest doing if you had the freedom and God's hands were working for you?: ~ I want to travel the world, be with my other half and share a life-long journey full of romantic whirlwinds. I want to live in the moment, each day being a new adventure with a mission to accomplish in far-away lands. I want to solve the riddles of life by tracking down symbolic clues, like Indian Jones in search of the Holy Grail. I want to open the gateways to heaven, discover secret gardens, hidden pathways of light and powerful crystals. I want to bring love to many different cities. I want to open up portals to heaven where enlightenment is found.
THE NOW
I AM HERE: ~ I am a crusader. Today, I arise in from the East and move toward the Sun and my true nature. I am an adventurer embarking upon a life-long journey and long-distance travel. I enjoy matters of the higher mind, philosophy, spirituality and the law, cultural pursuits and having a good time!
I ENVISION: ~ My empowered self in it's highest manifestation of my soul's purpose is soul-surrendered obedience to the Divine Creator-The Source of my being. I envision discovering how to listen and obey with clarity and fulfill all that I am assigned.
I ALIGN WITH: ~ I release those beings and attachments that do not serve me, those who pull me away from my spiritual journey, enlightenment and becoming all I was created to be and align with those on the same path, beings of love, moving forward toward the same goals and who seek to support me in discovering truth and the way toward light and love and I release all impediments that do not serve my soul's highest potential. I will surround myself with others who are part of the same "alien" race that I felt I was. To carry a banner for the weird, so to speak and embrace the differences within.
I KNOW: ~ I have the wisdom of my knowing. I know that there is something inside of me which I have not figured out. There is something in me that hides. I think that I have 2 more tasks to accomplish: (1) find the angelic voice and to learn how to produce musical harmony (2) Reunite with the other half of my soul who has the other wing. We must come back together in order to fly.
I CAN: ~ With Truth and Courage be Love In Action by not only being a giver but also a receiver and embracing the power of a group-people power to become a dynamic force calling upon alignment toward a march toward justice and truth.
I ASK: ~ I ask for love and truth. I want to know who am I and I want to know who God is. In order to have a divine relationship I feel these two questions are extremely important.
THE TRUTH OF MY WORLD
WEBSITE(S):
~http://chelseyxan.tumblr.com
~http://www.facebook.com/chelseyxan
AKASHIC RECORDS:
~This is the book of life. I am not completely sure about all of the details. I think it exists in the minds of those who guard it. It has the plan or blueprints of the mission we chose before we were brought into life. The spirit guides, which I am not sure if I have met one of those either because nobody has told me that they were a spirit guide, are supposed to help us remember the plan by guiding us during our journey. When we get off track then the spirit guides can call upon the angels for assistance.
STARSYSTEM:
~Not sure what this means. I'll take a stab at it. I was born in January and I was born in the west. So would that mean that my star system is located in The Great Winter Hexagon? I would assume I was one of the bright stars of the Great Winter Hexagon stars, a Navigational Star. Hence my desire and passion for investigation, exploration and natural leadership characteristics. If I were to guess, I would probably think it was Capella the charioteer's eye.
VALUES & DESIRE:
~Never give up on those you love-persevere, sharing, uplifting & desire is first to meet my twin flame, share deep spiritual and physical connection, begin journey of bringing love and truth to the world and co-creating in two ways: through lighting the world with our love and creating life through love by having children to continue on with the mission.
COLOR OF AURA:
~My guess is aquamarine or turquoise and fuschia/magenta. I also see a lot of bright green, sunflower yellow and red. Indigo and purple and white during spiritual and psychic/intuitive moments-inspirational.
YOGA+SPORT + ACTION:
~Balancing Chakras, Shamanic Drumming, Reiki, Piano Music +Running, Obstacle Courses, Circuit Training, Outdoorsy Fun Recreational Challenges + Activity is great for soothing the body and mind - it's fun to move and play and it's fun to laugh and learn
GOD(S) & GODDESS(ES):
~My name is ISIS no man has lifted my veil!
~In life I started with God and Jesus, kept exploring after my change in beliefs when I spent several days maybe weeks trying to decode the symbolism in the bible. I started to think somehow that I was somehow connected to Miriam, Moses sister.
I took a cross-cultural class and was exploring culture. I was reading a book by Carl Jung on Dreams and related to several examples of the symbolism. I ended up having Reiki for my cultural experience which opened my chakras. The name Lilith stood out to me after that.
I decided to play a game called, no plans lets see where my third eye leads as I feel the flower between my eyes navigate me.
I ended up at an antique shop finding all of these egyptian artifacts which were representational of my life and what I had been researching.
Eye of Horus, The Phoenix, New Beginnings, and some statues which I haven't finished figuring out. They are egyptian gods but I haven't learned to decode heiroglyphics yet.
Then Thoth drew my attention.
I also felt drawn toward Tibet and the 7th highest mountain in the West.
HOME & BODY:
~Art is Home & Body is Temple - I think of both this way: “If I build it, they (specifically he, the man of my dreams) will come."
ASCENDED MASTER(S):
~I think of Jesus. Since he ascended into what we are all supposed to be. He made it possible for the rest of us by opening the door into collective consciousness. I am not totally sure about this idea. I am sketchy about how I feel towards this idea. I need more information. Something seems missing
KHARMA & DHARMA:
~Kharma: What goes around comes around. The motivation of your behavior is driven through self-seeking or selfish desires. Negative thoughts are a double wammy. Laws of Nature cause you to attack yourself and also the environment to turn against you. ~Dharma: When one becomes invisible to the dragon, the dragon does not notice a person. Therefore, does not pose any threat to survival. Do not seek to slay the dragon or you will be destroyed. Ignore the negative and focus on the positive in everyone and everything. Do not become a threat to anyone’s ego by drawing attention to yourself. And don’t go after evil or evil comes for you. In other words do not act like you are above anyone and do not criticize. We are all having a learning experience and we are all in a different stage of the game.
ANGEL(S) & GUIDE(S):
~If Guide means Power Animal, then I have envisioned a bald eagle when I meditated. I saw snakes too but when I did I felt powerful and ready to defend without fear. I thought - I am not afraid of you snakes, back away. I will enter the light for I am going to find my way. The motivation of my heart is love and love is the way so you cannot touch me.
~Angels: I am not sure about this. I don't really know what angels are supposed to be like. I meditation I have envisioned myself with giant wings of rainbow colors and sometimes I met people that seem angelic. I haven't ever had an angel tell me that they were an angel. My Mamie used to tell me that she had a guardian angel who spoke to her.
LIFE MISSION:
~Bring out the highest good in myself and others.
TEACHER(S) & GURU(S):
~Life is my teacher. Those who have the wisdom I seek are my gurus.
LOVE & JOY:
~A Permanent Smile, Weightlessness, Bliss & Being Lost in the Moment
LANGUAGE(S):
~English
TRANS-FORMATION:
~Allowing self to die, experiencing the flames of hell as you face judgment, feeling responsible for your part in all past experiences that were ignored and not accounted for, receiving it, and purifying by forgiving self and letting go of any resentments toward self or others. Rising up as a phoenix through the ashes transforming into an eagle and flying with relief. So far, I have one very intense transformation which lasted day and night for 9 days. I made that my priority. I have had to go through more of them as I remember more. Some do last for 3 to 4 days but none have been quite like that first one. The first transformation was very hard. I almost didn't make it out of the fire. I reacted to parts of it in chaos and announced that I was angry because life had been a big deception and why hadn't anyone been kind enough to let us in on the truth. I see now that we wouldn't have understood and why we must learn to continue learning to trust our internal Source that delivers and interprets true meaning out of deception and falsehood.
BELIEF(S) & RELIGION(S):
~I am the great I Am. The Word was with God and God was the Word. The Word is Love. Therefore God is Love. I am created in God’s image. Therefore, I Am Love.
HAPPINESS:
~Happiness is a Choice. Believe your dreams will come true and don’t give up hope. Life is an experience which we much learn to adapt to. We need what we do not want in order to compare that to what we want. If you think it, it will become your reality.
MY LISTS
Music & Movie Favorites
Nature & Sacred Places
~Gary Go, I Am Wonderful http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lYvg6cTOi9E
~My Heart
~Train, This Ain't Goodbye ~http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F63QbAuBrO4
~My Imagination
~Ella Fitzgerald, Someone to Watch Over Me http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JANcQf3fjuA
~Music
~Josh Rouse, Love Vibration http://youtube/8Jhryt6AG-g
~Home
~At Last, Etta James http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=goz07feA54Y&feature=related
My Ancestors were Native Americans (Cherokee). The Native American Spiritual Meditations take me into a very deep meditation state. My cells know what my brain does not know.
I AM A TEACHER OF
I Teach Truth(Love & Understanding)
My Most Profound Belief
I believe that I already have everything within me that I could ever need. My goal is only to awaken the cells that have not been awakened by living a life which touches upon experience. I will try everything I can think of. I will continue to attack my fears by choosing the opposite of decisions made from the basis of fear.
Remember, God is a God of increase. Where you are today is not where you are supposed to stay. He has greater levels of His favor and blessing in store for you. Dare to dream big! Dare to keep a God-sized vision in front of you! Dare to take hold of every blessing that the Lord has in store for you!
A PRAYER FOR TODAY
Father in heaven, thank You for Your faithfulness in my life. Today I open my heart and mind to You so that I can see the greatness of what You want to do in my life. Use me for Your glory. Thank You for Your favor. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
I feel all jumbled up and confused again. This is so hard. Who are we? If we aren't AWAKE, then are we incubating in a test tube somewhere? Something like the Matrix? Identity - what does that mean? If we are all reflecting our reality back and forth in our mental state or constructs, then who are the people? Are those only creations in our minds? Like the movie Identity? Why does time seem like it doesn't exist. Why do random things and people appear out of the blue? Why do I feel like I live in a cartoon with rules that change everyday? How in the world can I figure this out? It is not all that fun anymore. It's not that I feel lonely, I just feel very disconnected.
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It is the last week of the semester and I felt I should not go back to school. I have been very conflicted by this but I am trusting my intuition. I wasn’t far from graduation and have a 4.0. However, the see that this education was planted on was hurt and anger. I was hurt by a misunderstanding at the first school I began and I fought against it with lawyers so that I could continue. I ended up giving up but in order to prove to them and myself that there was nothing wrong with me I enrolled at another school. I accomplished proving to myself that I am capable of doing anything I set my mind to. However, I have not proved to myself that I can trust my gut instincts. I seem to always ask the advice of others and forget to trust myself. So, I have decided that I must prove I can love me by not having to have the degree and learning to nurture and love myself no matter how many people advise me against doing this. I must believe in myself and know that this is the best decision for me and by taking this leap I will receive the life I dreamed of and I will not have to prove I am worthy of it by having credentials rather I prove it by trusting my feelings and placing faith in my higher self. She knows the reason and purpose for my existence and nobody else can know that except for her. So, this is my devotion and I will believe in her. I believe good things will come from this. It is uncomfortable right now. However, I cannot know until after I see what happens what the reason for this was. I believe no matter what it will be a good thing. Courage is one thing that I know I do have.
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My 3 largest dreams which seem most difficult to achieve: (1) To be uninhibited fully and completely expressing my joy of life. When I feel like dancing I wanna dance with the stars. When I wanna sing, I wanna howl at the moon or sing along with the heavenly angels. I wanna live and I wanna live with spunk, style and personality! (2) I wanna have a romance beyond my wildest dreams. I wanna live in constant love and joy. Singing as I rise and dancing the night away. Sleeping in the arms of my lover. So close that 2 become one. (3) I want to be all that I can be. My name is going to be written down in history books for the good I plan to bring to the world is going to burn a whole through the Black VEIL that covers Mother Earth’s eyes. I will reunite her with Father Sky and they will become one. I value and kiss the very air I breathe and thank God I am alive today. I thank Mother Earth and Mother Nature for sharing it with me, I thank father sky and father time for the air and beauty of faith and fantasy, fire for it’s warmth and water for it’s purity and cleanliness.
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1. What is my bliss? What do I love that I’ve almost forgotten or given up on? What has always brought me joy?
I wrote what I thought bliss was on two different days and I found two different answers. This proves my theory in question number 33.
Day 1 A state of profound satisfaction, happiness and joy, a constant state of mind, undisturbed by gain or loss.
1. What is my bliss?
music, writing, fantasy of then mystical and magical things that make life exciting and fascinating,
2. What do I love that I’ve almost forgotten or given up on?
3. What has always brought me joy?
Playing dress up, planning parties with themes, decorating,
Day 2 In one word - Communication. Mastering the art of interpreting and conveying a message which is understood uniquely to each person. I enjoy figuring out how to do it by studying people. I figure out how to understand by studying myself. Key component/the goal - emotional regulation. Playing with words. Creative writing, Puns, metaphors, witty or clever jokes, poetry and the more colorful the better I feel. I come alive by communicating. Whatever it takes to get my point across. Communication is an art and as long as my point is understood I am happy. It does not have to be accepting but I value the meaning of message to be received without twisting the motivation behind it. Winning is giving the world the best clearest and most accurate portrayal of who I know I am inside.
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The the divine I am, a spark of which resides in me. Yes I can embody this understanding by explaining how it feels to me. I believe that we are some kind of mysterious energy channel that is kind of like a telephone. We are an instrument that spirits use to manifest into physical reality. Why do we keep looking for a self that has not been found. The harder we look the further away it gets and it becomes painstakingly difficult and impossible to stop looking because there has to be an answer. Logically, as the mind helps to make sense of what our experiences teach us. I have formed the following conclusion. There is no self. Any self is a false self because that is the component in the body, which acts as a substitute in order to keep the body alive. Whatever emotion is felt. Is the spirit which comes alive in us. We want to replace fear with love because the spirit of love was the one which we were created. Hence, the word-to make love or lovemaking. So the true “I” that will allow the body to optimally function is when the heart is able to give and receive the most love with no hurt involved in the equation. My proof. I write. When I am in a different emotional state. I am a different person. I am consumed by that emotion and that is who I am at that moment of time. When I go back and read something I wrote and I am not experiencing that emotion in the moment I am reading it. It seems like an alien or different person was in possession of me. The best way I can explain it is. Each emotional feeling represents a different God or Spirit of our understanding during the present moment. I would love any feedback or someone who feels they are able to expand on this idea. For goodness sakes, one thing is true and that that is that No Man is An Island. Our spirit lives, the spirit of God rests within us. The very thing we dread and are tempted to resist is actually the means to God’s greatest blessings in our lives. Did curiosity really kill the cat?
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